I don't know about you, but the moment that I feel God most, like actually feel Him, is when it's raining, which it is right now. It's one of my favorite things in the world, to sit and watch a storm from my porch, or on occasion go stand in the yard and just be surrounded by Him. I don't know if this is just how God decided he wanted me to experience Him, or if it has more to do with me not understanding the science of weather and water falling from the sky, but either way it's amazing.
To be completely honest I've been in a bit of a spiritual slump for...probably a few years now, it's had highish points, but on average been a pretty long slump. Recently I placed membership at a church and joined a community group, 7 girls all between 21 and 24, and it's been wonderful. It hasn't fixed my slump, not by any means, but I'm taking steps, I'm working at repairing my relationship with God, and I took a big step tonight.
I hadn't actually noticed it was raining until one of the girls in my group sent out a text about it (she knows how I feel about storms). Once I realized it was raining, I just got a feeling, like I needed to go outside, I needed to stand in the rain (I'm even in the middle of writing a song about standing in the rain and feeling God, lol, isn't He awesome!). So I did. I just got up and went outside and stood in the rain. Bare foot and still in work out clothes, I stood in my backyard.
It was as if the rain washed away all my walls and my hesitations and I cried out to God in a way I hadn't in a very long time. I talked to Him openly, honestly about things from the past few years that I'd been too ashamed of or simply too proud or closed off to discuss with Him. It was...overwhelming. I literally fell to my knees in the grass crying from the swarm of emotions. Then, as if He was telling me to go dig into scripture, a crack of thunder hit that scared me to my feet and back inside.
I opened my daily devotional (The Duck Commander Devotional, yes that's the one I read) to today and read todays entry as well as one from a couple of days ago that caught my eye (Sweet Forgiveness and The Washing of Rebirth). They're about the mercy and forgiveness that Christ offers us through belief in him and baptism. (Now I was raised in the church and have known about this concept my whole life. I gave my life to Christ when I was about 10, so it's not like I hadn't heard this before. But sometimes we humans just need to be reminded of the simplicity of His love.) Through these readings God spoke back. I'd just poured out my heart to Him, and for the first time in a long time, I heard Him talking back immediately.
He told me He loves me and has forgiven me for the things I did, just like I forgave the others involved and gave me advise on handling current issues I'm facing (Titus 3). Then he steered me toward an article (another girl from my community group had sent it to us early today) about waiting and how God uses waiting to prepare us for what is to come (I wanted Him to show me His plan). He also just drew my attention to a few other awesome scriptures that I needed to be reminded of:
John 3:30 "He must become greater; I must become less"
Philippians 2:5-18, John 8, I mean obviously the whole Bible is good stuff, but these are what I needed to hear tonight, and they truly spoke to me.
Anyway my point is that God is awesome. And even when we feel like we've tried everything and he just isn't there, He isn't listening...He is, and He'll say something when He knows the time is right. So be patient. Learn in the waiting. Find Strength in His word and in those around you. Feel loved in scripture. And feel His power and His presence in the storms.
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