I'm a Christian. I used to think that part of being a Christian was having your crap together. I used to think it meant you knew what you were supposed to do, why you're here. I know I'm still young, but I have been through a lot, and I've figured out recently that most Christians don't have a clue. We like to think we know what we're doing, but we're just as lost as everybody else. Until, that is, we learn to listen. Not with our ears, with our souls. It's a weird concept, I know, and it's freaking hard to do; personally I'm still not sure if I'm doing it right. But I'm trying, and I think that counts for something.
This summer I felt the draw of acting again, something I hadn't done since high school. I prayed and prayed and asked for advice, and God opened a door. I've started a program in Dallas called Actors, Models, and Talent for Christ, and I am scared out of my mind. This program trains you and teaches you skills in your field as well as how the industry works. So far, I love it and it's all exciting and uplifting. Yes I get a little nervous or some stage fright, and the idea of failing is scary, but that's not why I'm terrified. I'm afraid that I'll succeed.
What if I make it? What if I become this famous actress? What if along the way I lose sight of why I'm doing this? What if I let go of God's hand and start walking down a different path? What if I'm not strong enough?
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