An Open Letter to Teenagers

Know that you are loved.

If you stop reading right now or zone out and don't get any other point, I want you to know that, each and every one of you is loved.

I'm 24, and I'm sure some of you think that is really old, but it's not...I'm basically still a child, but I am far enough removed from High School that I can reflect on it more objectively than in past years. I think this is something a lot of you need to hear.

I can't speak for all of your teachers and coaches, there's always an exception, but I can speak for my Mom and many other educators.They are in your lives for a reason. They love you and they care about you.

That is probably why they bug you so much. The teachers that push you the hardest, that don't let you get away with being lazy, the ones that call your parents when your acting out, the coaches that make you run that extra sprint when your grades are slipping, these are the people that love you. They love teaching, coaching, mentoring, and molding. They are passionate about you and your future. Sometimes the most loving thing seems mean and harsh, but it is molding you into a more disciplined person.

Some are doing this because they simply have a passion for young people. Others are there for a much deeper, more important reason. They are in the classroom because God has called them to be there. God has called them to a ministry of impacting students, of spreading His love in the classroom, of being a light in a place that can often be the darkest corner of the world.

I know that some of you have incredibly hard lives. High School is a hard and awkward time for most people. Many of you are dealing with more than just school and hormones. Some of you have lost one or both of your parents. Some still have your parents physically, but emotionally they might as well not be there. For some your parents are present, but they are only a negative, abusive presence in your life. Some of you are battling emotional and/or mental hardships that you might not be able to explain to others. Others of you feel rejected by your peers. Some of you are hiding homelessness, addictions, abuse, or other struggles.

Most of you feel alone.

No matter how alone and different you feel, no matter how much guilt, shame, anger, or isolation you feel, you are loved. You are being prayed over daily.

...I feel like I should explain what prompted this letter.

My Mom is a teacher. She loves her students. Even when they hate her, and she doesn't feel like she's making much of a difference, she shows up and she loves them to the best of her ability. She prays for them, for their education, but also for their lives - their hearts.

Someone egged my mom's classroom door. My first reaction was love for my Mom and anger at the student that hurt her. However a friend reminded me to check where my heart was, and to love the student. So I prayed. I prayed that my Mom would feel comforted and strengthened, and that she wouldn't be discouraged. And then I prayed for the student, that their eyes would be opened to the love God has for them. I prayed they would feel Him pursing them with love.

Then one of my other friends, a teacher's aid, had a rough encounter with a student and I was again reminded that teenagers are hurt, and often feel unloved. They live in a world where they aren't "cute kids" any more, but aren't yet adults either.

Know that you are loved.

You're in a period of your life that is awkward and hard, and you may often feel alone. You may feel like your teachers are just there to make life more boring and to keep you from having fun with your friends, but they're not. They are there to spur you on. To challenge you to do your very best.

They are there to love you.

Of Course I Want A Cookie

[This is not a blanket statement about all people who struggle with weight and body image. This is specifically about me. Some of it may be extrapolated and applied to others, but none of it is applicable to everyone, except the love :)]

"God doesn't make mistakes. Love the way you are." 

"God made you perfect just the way you are." 

"Love your body type." 

All good/true things, at least in some aspect. But here's the thing..some of us [raises hand and points at self] have a tendency to hear these statements and take them to mean that my weight problem is totally okay. God just made me fat...or at least fatter than average...really I should say fatter than healthy because the American average isn't healthy.  

Well, I'm sorry, but He didn't. God didn't make me fat. He didn't make me as this unhealthy person who was doomed to be chubby and unhappy with my appearance. Yes, He gave me a slow metabolism, but that's just a challenge like any other He uses to help us grow. 

I'm the one who took the healthy body God gave me and mistreated it. I abused it, fed it garbage and grease for years until I literally weighed as much as a grown man (despite being a 5'5" girl). I didn't fuel my body; I fed my appetite for sugar and fries. I didn't exercise regularly and strengthen my muscles; I watched Netflix regularly and let my muscles weaken. 

God did not give me the body I have. I turned the body He gave me into this...lets go with full-figured...I made myself this full-figured girl..um, woman? Whatever, you get the point.

Me at my cousin's wedding, at my heaviest just before starting this journey...I would
have started earlier, but I didn't want to steal the spotlight ;) lol, just kidding.

So now I'm trying to fix it. I'm eating better and working out, and I'm trying to chisel away all the damage I did to the beautiful creation God blessed me with. 

I must also say that most people tend toward extremes, and when it comes to our diet, neither extreme is healthy. Eating fried fast food constantly and being obese isn't good for you. But neither is starving yourself and being stick thin. Health is about balance. And it's about understanding our bodies and what is healthy.

Most doctors agree that a healthy adult my height should have a BMI between 19 and 24. Y'all, mine was in the low THIRTIES! That isn't healthy even if I look average!

So when people offer me a cookie or some chips, and I turn them down, I'm not trying to be rude. Of course I want the cookie, but I want to be healthy more. I'm also not starving myself or depriving myself of the so-called pleasures in life. Chances are I had some fruit earlier and I'm doing just fine.

When people look at me and hear that I'm on a diet, that I've lost 30 pounds and I'm not done yet, they legitimately argue with me. They say I'm being unhealthy, that I don't need to lose anymore. Our society's views of health are just so skewed. I've done the research; I know the science; I promise, I'm still not in the healthy weight range for my body type, but I'm almost there.

Before I finish, I have got to tell you, I legitimately feel so much better now! I took a break from dieting for the holidays, and by the time I was getting ready to start back up again, my body was actually craving vegetables! I don't even like most vegetables, but my body was telling me it missed being fueled. And the other day I had a crappy day, like crying off and on all day for basically no reason other than it was Monday. You know when my day finally got better? When I went for a run! Yea, being healthy sucks at first, but after a while your body actually starts to crave it, and that makes it easier and more fulfilling!

This is me, post workout, last week :) Looking all happy and feeling good.