Real Life

"...in real life."
"I can't wait for my real life to start."
"This is real life..."

Sound familiar?
I HATE. these phrases. I'm just as guilty as the next girl of using them, even when not referring to a movie, which is the only excusable reason for saying this, but I hate them.
I hate them because my life is stalled. Nothing in my life is where I want to be, and very little of it feels like a stepping stone to get there. And, to be honest, it makes me mad, that this is my real life.

You see, I'm an Office Coordinator. Which means I spent 4 years and my parents paid thousands upon thousands of dollars for me to get a degree that I don't use, because any teenager can answer phones, schedule meetings and do what ever else they are told to do. Now, don't read this as: "I hate my job." This isn't that kind of post. I love my coworkers, they are fun people. And the company I work for is great too. I just don't love my job. This isn't what I want to do with my life. I don't enjoy what I do. I'm not looking for a job that "fulfills me" as they say, I know that isn't really the point, but I'd like to be doing something that I care about you know, something that I enjoy at least a little.

I don't have a church home. Which means my social life is basically nonexistent. I'm not a loser...I don't think. It's just that a good portion of my friends are still in school. The other good portion are split up all over the state and country living their new adult lives. I have a roommate, but our schedules are so different that we are rarely both home and awake at the same time. And my friends that do live in Dallas, well we're all over and busy and their isn't a built in social calendar to bring us together like college provided. So I'm looking for a church home (not just for this reason, obviously I love God and want to find a place that is like family to gather in his name, this is just a side motivation), but it takes time and in the meantime, I watch Netflix and eat brownie batter in bed.

I am eager to act. I've talked a bit before about the draw of acting and how I believe that is where God ultimately wants me. I'm in a training program that helps hone my skills, teaches me about the industry, and eventually I will participate in a showcase for agents and managers. So at least I'm going in the right direction, but I'm eager to jump in right now, but I have a full time job. Do you know how hard it is to go to auditions when you don't have any time off built up yet? And then if I am offered a part...I can only film on weekends, unless someone happens to offer me a career making part that will make quitting my day job a realistic thing...I'm not holding my breath.

I could also add that I'm single and have no prospects, which is true, but then again I'm fully aware of the fact that at 22 I am not ready to get married and settle down like so many of my friends are doing. Not to say I wouldn't like to go on a date now and again (just to make me feel like I'm not completely repulsive), but I'm completely okay with waiting on the whole marriage and kids thing.

My point...what was my point?
Live life.
Right, live your life now, but live it in anticipation of the future too. Seize the day! Find joy in the little things! And all the other applicable quotes. But also, you need to be actively seeking ways to advance your life in the direction you want to go. Be patient, as all things happen in God's perfect time.
Even if this season (that's just for you Kristen) of your life isn't your favorite, recognize that this is your life, and it is real.
So enjoy what you can and learn from the crappy bits.

You Matter

#BlackLivesMatter

#LatinoLivesMatter

#AsianLivesMatter

#WhiteLivesMatter

#AllLivesMatter

But this is about Black lives.

This is about white privilege. 

I'll be honest, I'm an oblivious white girl. I don't like politics or confrontation, so I tend to keep my opinions to myself when it comes to social media, and I don't stay all that up to date with the news (other than big things that show up on my twitter feed, which I often will read/skim an article or two about). I also struggle sometimes to articulate what I mean in a way that won't be distorted by the absence of human interaction. With that said, I also grew up in a town where I was actually the minority at my school, and the classes I was enrolled in were relatively diverse, so I was oblivious to the bigger issue here. On that note, I will say racism can and does go both ways, but this post isn't about that, it's about the fact that Black Lives Matter because all lives do.

I wasn't there and I don't know what happened, so I won't say this for them. I'm saying this for all my friends who are of a different color than me. For all of those I love. For all the people I don't know and probably never will because we were born into different parts of this world. You matter. Just as much as me.

Let me be clear about something though, when I say worth and equality, I don't mean all people are the same, or equally important, or even capable of the same things. For example; The President of the United States of America, is way more important than me, and (no matter how much I may disagree with his politics) I understand why. He has equipped himself with knowledge that I know not of, and he has authority that I cannot fathom. He also has people who threaten to kill him, and I don't, so it balances out. My point is that while in the eyes of humanity we should all be equals, that just means that we should not be looked down upon as less. We are all so very different; we have different capabilities and the potential to do such a wide range of things. Some are born with great intelligence, some with great comedic talent; others have trouble with social situations, or have trouble learning; this world is unfair. And it always will be, but it doesn't make them less. We all have a path to follow, each one different from the next. 

One thing I'm worried will happen with this movement for equality (a movement I believe in and support) is that it will do what Feminism did and go too far. Feminism at it's core is good. It is about equality between men and women. Not equality as in sameness, but equality in worth. We should be worth the same as men in the eyes of humanity. That does not mean that we must conquer man though. Some branches of Feminism have taken the raising up of women and turned it into the crushing of men, and that is not okay. This is the exact opposite of what we teach our children. We teach them to be confident in themselves, to not beat others down to feel better about themselves. We then should do the same. Be confident women who stand up for our rights, but don't have to degrade men to do it. 

Along the same lines when it comes to race, I want equality, but that doesn't mean bashing other races. Instead we should call upon everyone to elevate each other to be equal in the eyes of all. I'm not excusing the past, but let's leave the past there because there is nothing we can do to change it, and deal with the present. Black lives matter, not because they're black. Not because white people owe them for what our ancestors did to theirs. Not because someone died. Black lives matter because they are people, just like you and me. Black lives matter just as much as Latino lives, Asian lives, White lives, all lives. 

34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”